i-once-had-a-guy-tell-me:

I once had a drunk guy tell me I was too sexy to be shooting up at a party. He knocked the needle out of my hands and stepped on the pen, shattering the casing, telling me I should thank him by giving him my number and a kiss. It was my diabetes medicine.

(submitted by anonymous)

baeddeldeer:

Why do ppl get so mad when girls like themselves

...
thefingerfuckingfemalefury:

boygeorgemichaelbluth:

funoftheday:

Instead of caramel apples this Halloween, melt jolly ranchers in a 250 degree oven for around 5 minutes, then pour over your apples. Add edible glitter for the sparkling space effect!

this is kind of genius

I require SPACE APPLES in my life :D

thefingerfuckingfemalefury:

boygeorgemichaelbluth:

funoftheday:

Instead of caramel apples this Halloween, melt jolly ranchers in a 250 degree oven for around 5 minutes, then pour over your apples. Add edible glitter for the sparkling space effect!

this is kind of genius

I require SPACE APPLES in my life :D

22 hours ago 67,374 notes Via xlosthope By funoftheday
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ymcgay:

U KNOW WHAT I LOVE?

ART!

U KNOW WHAT IM BAD AT?

art

...
...

rexuality:

I need to have as much wild sex as possible so one day I can become an inappropriate old lady that blurts out things like “when I was your age I got a concussion after being bent over a desk” and then my family can be like “grandma please, you’re making easter dinner really uncomfortable” and it’ll be great

"Do not spend your life searching for a place to call home. Make the bones in your skeleton the only structure you need."

- Haley Hendrick (via soulsscrawl)

...
smitethepatriarchy:

viva-la-fat:

"You’re 6’4", 240-pound Marine, and you’re injured, and you need a Marine next to you to carry you back to safety, and the Marine next to you is a 5’4" woman who weighs 115 pounds,"

No problem.

smitethepatriarchy:

viva-la-fat:

"You’re 6’4", 240-pound Marine, and you’re injured, and you need a Marine next to you to carry you back to safety, and the Marine next to you is a 5’4" woman who weighs 115 pounds,"

No problem.

22 hours ago 152,109 notes Via thehilariousblog By viva-la-fat
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dirkbot:

things they don’t show you in porn:

  • elbowing each other in the face
  • leg cramps
  • queefing
  • accidentally pulling each other’s hair
  • ass pubes

things they also don’t show in porn:

  • sleepy morning sex
  • mutual giggle fits over awkward situations
  • sex fading into cuddles fading into sex and back into cuddles
  • your lover’s o face

so don’t ever compare yourself to porn thank you

bunfoot:

SAY IT WITH ME

  • the mitochondria are not “deep”
  • the mitochondria are not “quirky”
  • the mitochondria are the fucking powerhouse of the cell
  • STOP ROMANTICIZING MITOCHONDRIA
"No single decision you ever made has led in a straight line to where you find yourself now. You peeked down some roads and took a few steps before turning back. You followed some roads that came to a dead end and others that got lost at too many intersections. Ultimately, all roads are connected to all other roads."

- Deepak Chopra (via xlosthope)

"If they respect you, respect them. If they disrespect you, still respect them. Do not allow the actions of others to decrease your good manners, because you represent yourself, not others"

- Mohammad Zeyara (via fridakathykahlo)